Say No to Fakes (TokyoMike Edition)

OK TSG’ers, as the title suggests, this is another installment of TSG’s infamous “Say No To Fakes” series, which helps keep all our fellow sneakerheads on the straight and narrow as far as FAKE SNEAKERS.

Now, as some/most of you who frequent the TSG Community know, our main man FeetHeat took an extra stank pair of Fake Jordan 11′s, combined them with some lighter fluid…..sprinkled on a generous amount of hatred toward factory variants for extra seasoning, and cooked TSG readers one of the most delicious treats our eyes have ever feasted on……BROILED TO PERFECTION!!……FeetHeat, we salute you for your valiant efforts. In fact, it was his patriotic actions that lead me to seek out a new and interesting way to tear up some stupid looking fakes.

My first step was…….BUY SOME FAKES ON PURPOSE……odd, I know, but I felt the need to do this for all of you, so the money wasn’t really a big deal…..and later on in part two of this article, you’ll have something ELSE to make you wonder just how messed up in the head I am.

Anyhow, I copped some dope Air Yeezy’s in the highly sought after black/red/GID colorway on eBay…..straight bangin’ son!!……bangin’ if you LIKE FAKES, WHICH I DO NOT!!!!!….we all know they didn’t release the Yeezy’s in this colorway, yet I had to actually bid against people to get em (sad, I know….)Anyhow, two days, a fair amount of disbelief, and $69.00 later, they were mine. When they arrived in the mail, I cracked open the box and almost vomited for laying my hands on Fake Air Cheezy’s…..but I had a plan for em which replaced my pain and suffering with tears of PURE JOY.

I work with GUNS lol…….BIG, POWERFUL GUNS, and what better way to tear up a pair of fakes than to hang em from a target, load up close to 250 rounds of M16 Rifle ammo, and release my anger, one sweet trigger pull at a time?!?!?! (keep in mind, I do this for a living, so PLEASE, DO NOT USE ANY FIREARMS WITHOUT PROPER TRAINING/SUPERVISION, EVER!)

Anyhow…..the first pair I lit up (insert TokyoMike’s evil laughter here) was in fact the Cheezy’s…..and as you can see from the pictures, hot lead dislikes fake sneakers almost as much as TSG’ers do!!! Those Cheezy’s didn’t stand a CHANCE against that M16…..those “kicks” bounced around, doing their little “I’m sorry for being fake” dance, but I didn’t care…..I just yelled “Dance you Stanky Fakes, DANCE!” and kept on firing……it felt GOOOOOOD to tear em up……BUT I WASN’T DONE YET!!!!

As much as fakes bother me, so does the act of buying into the hype of a shoe when I personally know better…….which was the case with me, and (deep breath…..here we go…….) the recently released Black/Varsity Red Air Jordan 6′s……at this point, yes, you can openly question my sanity…..anyhow, I’ve never liked 6′s, but the Hype-Train came a rollin’ when they dropped, and I reluctantly hopped on board…..only to wear em once, and look down at em with utter dissappointment…..I STILL hated 6′s, and even worse, I hated that I’d let the hype of that shoe get me to the point of buying them. I was truly ashamed. Now, sure, I paid retail for em, and I could’ve sold em, or gave em away, OR….I COULD’VE DECIDED, “HEY, WHY NOT PUMP THESE UGLY FAIRY BOOTS FULL OF BUCKSHOT!?!?!”……WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT I DID!!!! HOORAY FOR SHOTGUNS!!!

I decided to shoot em up from a good distance so they wouldn’t TOTALLY turn into dust…..and also so they’d stay up on the target long enough for me to flush out my anger via rapid bursts of angry pump action and Hype Hating trigger slaps…so the damage isn’t nearly as bad as the Cheezy’s, but enough for me to feel good about clearing my conscience as far as avoiding the pitfalls of Hypebeastism. BUY WHAT YOU LIKE, NOTHING MORE, NOTHING LESS!!! LESSON LEARNED (AGAIN!!)

Oh, and in honor of our good pal FeetHeat, the Cheezy’s took the express train to H-E-Double Hockey Sticks via BBQ pit and lighter fluid……FLAME ON YOU DIRTY FAKES, FLAME ON!!!

I Hope you all enjoyed the pics as much as I enjoyed creating them, and remember, SAY NO TO FAKES!!!!!!!!!!